How do I write this while sticking to my mantras of "don't judge" and "to each his or her own" ?
In general, I've always felt like I was "flying solo" and out on an "Island" with so many things all my life (I call myself a "Species of One"), but it truly feels like the whole world I see in public is on the cellphone.
When I say [no exaggeration] a line of 12 people waiting at the bus stop in front of Whole Foods Seattle, looking down at their phones, I wanted to scream out "What the hell is wrong with you people?". But instead, I figured I better go home and first take a look at myself…….and if necessary, do any screaming in an article on my blog.
Maybe I'm the one with the problem?
…..I joked to one of my friends back in Chicago, "maybe I'm just jealous I don't have enough friends to even talk to on the phone, maybe this is my issue….." (996 Facebook friends on my blog, but I'm talkin' about real life friends 🙂 )
(This friend I've known for 30 years, haven't seen each other in 5 years, and we talk on the cellphone averaging every other day, and average perhaps 2 text messages a day, but I've never had a conversation on the phone with him on the street, or texted him or read one of his texts on the street).
Could be an issue with my eyes……
In that my eyesight is in that anti-Cellphone "sweet spot" in that I have fairly clear vision, but need my reading glasses for the computer and reading labels at the store and so forth. But my reading glasses are always way down in my backpack……if I have them with me at all.
So for me, reading text messages on the street with no reading glasses is too much of a damn hassle. Easier to wait til I get home. (but I don't need glasses to talk on the phone on the street, not sure why I don't talk on the phone outside that much)
I remember my first cellphone call while on a date………….
…..and I distinctly remember grabbing the phone, frantically trying to turn the ringer off, and tell her "I'm not answering this, this is my first phone and I don't know how to turn the ringer off but bear with me".
She replied, "If you have to answer , do what you gotta do, it could be your mother". I said, "unless my mother is on a sinking ship in Lake Michigan, I'm sure she'll understand that I rather talk to a pretty girl right now".
Might take us 500 years to figure this out……….
…as I say about many things we're immersed in now, like the purpose for Facebook and all that.
But I think I can see this thing from an angle that may not make sense now, but the folks reading my blog 500 years from now might see that I had a bead on this long before anyone else. (note I said "might have the bead")
The Cellphone and the "I-Process" (you may not get me, but here it is…..)
….the "I-Process" being what they call in Eastern Philosophy a person's perception that she or he is the center of the universe, and all the things he or she does, is to support his or her ego, or his or her "I-Process"
So to me, the cellphone is merely a device that allows the "I-Process" to manage all these "fast twitch" thoughts that a person takes in and sends out, to increase the scope of their world, for the better the worse.
Why do women I knew from years ago keep texting me?
….note I say "texting me" as opposed to dialing the damn number to actually talk to me, say hi, see how I've been. What's up with that?
When I pieced together this philosophy about the cellphone managing and increasing the scope of the Ego or "I-Process" as I call it, it kind of all make sense to me.
I think I am just a errant thought that flashed through these women's minds a year or two later, some guy they finally realized 2 years later was a "great guy", after a couple of other guys "dogged" them, but it is easier on the emotions to shoot me a text…if no response, not to much a hit on the ego (the "I-Process").
Men always call a woman back……..
….Is what one woman told me, and why she (somewhat arrogantly) said she never deletes the 400 and something men's phone numbers in her phone.
The funny thing was that in the arrogance of her "I-Process" (she was one of the implant "boobalicious" girls I knew from Oregon), she actually texted me a year and a half later. I wasn't impressed, I think I was just an irrelevant thought that flashed in her mind, and the cellphone was a way to manage it.
If she's got implants and 400 men's numbers in her cellphone, why is she texting me? hmmmmmm.
Cellphones, the ultimate "Ego Management" tool
She probably only texted me because I never play by the standard men's playbook, meaning I never called that chick back, like her "playbook" calls for every "Pavlovian Caveman" to do.
I suppose her ego couldn't process that, but it is easy to see why she needs that cellphone to keep that physiological circus of managing this stream of men for the sake of her Ego ("I-Process"), and taking advantage of the detachment that the phone gives, which helps manage emotions, or so it seems……..
…..whatever!!!
No real answers, but something is definitely up…….
….with this cellphone culture. I've expressed to many people, I don't want to be a part of it, don't truly know why, but as the poster child for over-thinking things, I know not to over-think this one, just trust my instincts, and just be me.
That street map application in my iPhone has saved my ass no less than 5 times, my iPhone 6 takes AMAZINGLY clear photos for my blog, and the Brokerage Account Phone Apps are vital to my personal business, from a certain point of view I can't live without my phone.
I know phones are "hip an cool" and some folks will sleep outside the Apple store for the latest model, and I'm a "gadget guy" at the core…..
………..But I just want to "casually date" my cellphone, not be married to it
UPDATE 5/22/15: This amazing Brother, Prince Ea, hits hits it out the ballpark with his take on this whole subject….I guess I'm not alone in this after all. Check out his video below. Thanks for the inspiration Prince Ea!!!!
~stay healthy~
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4 Responses
The pictures say it all. Almost everyone is hypnotized by these electronic beasts that are so talented.
I came in late to the cell phone culture only because it seemed like a good idea to have one for emergencies when away from home. My cell phone is a dinosaur, in that it won’t text and won’t take messages. It only talks and listens. Which is fine. The good news is that, as you say, with all the things these gadgets will do now, you can custom tailor it to your needs. If I ever have a problem with addiction, it won’t be to a cell phone. God help everyone else.
Bobbi
Bobbi,
Well, at least I’m not alone on this third rock from the sun….but even if I was, that’s cool 🙂
dw
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I totally love this post and I couldn’t agree more. Two weeks ago I was asked to come judge an art show in Lexington, KY. It was a state wide event and so there were teacher judges from many counties there. When I walked in, I was puzzled and confused. I kid you not, the entire room was filled with people on gadgets. They all had their heads bent and eyes glued to their phones. No one was talking to anyone else. I asked the coordinator if we were supposed to be doing the judging online. I was concerned because my battery was flat and I knew that I couldn’t be accessing websites (and besides, I hate to read on my phone. I need a laptop or a desktop for that. I don’t like to keep my head bent and my eyes squinting.) I often forget to charge my phone and end up a lot of times, not having it in working order as a result of that. She said, “No, we’re just waiting for things to start.” Something inside me just fell to the bottom…a room of 35 people and nobody was interacting or trying to connect with each other. I immediately thought, “What is wrong with us? This is insane.” I had never felt more “weird” “disconnected” or “insignificant” than I did that day in that room. I remember a time in Kentucky when you could walk into a room of strangers and have someone immediately introduce themselves and offer you a place to sit. Sometimes, progress is not progress. Beautiful post and oh, so true.
Hi Darlene,
Yeah, that’s how I pictured Kentucky as well. Down home friendly people who actually talked to each other……
…..I thought I was all alone on the planet on this issue
Doug Wallace